some thoughts on heaven

I've been thinking a lot about some ideas of heaven over the past few months. Not that nebulous idea of sky, or angels, or harps or a big mansion. Heaven is after all not a very concrete idea biblically, not being present in the judeo tradition.

I have sometimes thought about heaven being all those things that we wished could have happened in life but we didn’t get to. It lends itself as an answer for being sad or disappointed in life: "Well, that might be experienced, or is waiting for me in heaven" (or another life). If it can't be accomplished here on earth, then in my heaven I will have the beautiful French chateau with acres and acres of land and no visible power lines and a secret garden.

It is also all those moments that I envision in my head as perfection, and want to do, but don’t because of physical (or lazy!) constraints. It is all those evenings I plan or envision worshiping the Creator dancing in fields with fireflies around, candles lit in the branches of trees, an alter of flowers and stones and shells, and a soundtrack playing the music of all creation—(not actually possible on this earth)--but a vision of something I desire and want to do, the essence of me and my desire to worship. And I think, that will be my heaven, my heaven will be all of those beautiful and intricate moments that have lived in my head but not in reality, coming to pass and being made possible.

But there is also the idea of heaven as the every day moments or small beauties in this very life. It is the life we do get to, the things we experience and see around us, if we notice and take them in and see them as such. It is the dazzling color of the autumn leaves, the way a vine curves around a stone wall, the way the sunlight comes through glass and illuminates all the dust particles swirling around the air, immediately transforming something mundane into a mystical encounter, or, as Jim Wallis writes about recently on God’s Politics it is sitting between home and first, about 15 rows up from the field at Fenway Park for the opening game of the 2007 World Series. In a recent conference I attended at the Duke Divinity School, Wendell Berry and Wes Jackson described ideas of heaven, also touching on heaven being found in the now, rather than this nebulous idea put off for the future. Berry states something along the lines of, “I’d like to think about heaven as a byproduct of life well lived, rather than a destination or goal”(sic).

I wonder at the idea of heaven, and this idea of what it might be and how it is for each person, rather than being a tangible and concrete idea that is uniform and fact for everyone, is actually a construct that helps us through our lives. It takes some pressure off of us and it gives an outlet to that bit of sadness that is inevitable in life, which comes from not being able to accomplish all one wants in life, and not having life perfected. And, concurrently, it is also achievable in the here and now, through the appreciation of the small beauties of the moment. And in these senses the idea of heaven does serve a very important and good purpose, being achievable now and providing a hope that gives birth to contentment and fulfillment, and puts to sleep feelings of unfulfillment and wistfulness.